I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on this page or my Sexwannie blog. But life isn’t always easy.
There are important things that get in the way of writing a blog. Life gets in the way. And so does death.
My husband and I have been though so much in a very short period of time.
On May 5th 2015 we lost my father in law to heart disease. Then a week later on May 12th my Mom lost her battle with Cancer.
That’s when I lost my way. My Mom was my heart, and my biggest fan.
I still cannot believe she’s gone.
I go to call her and then reality kicks in. She’s not here.
I look for signs that she told me she would send. I see them, I know she’s watching over me.
I just want her here.
It was Mom who pushed me to write and publish my first novel.
Know I don’t know how I’m supposed to finish my second without her here.
When I started my blogs it was my Mama who would say “You’re on your way little girl.”
Its had not having her here pushing me to write. She had been telling me my entire life I needed to keep writing. .
So now it’s been about six weeks since she’s gone and I’m so lost without her.
We have moved out of Jersey. Packed up everything we thought we might use. And staying with someone who I thought was family.
If we could move again we would be out of here tonight.
“Don’t tell my Mom on her death bed that you will take care of me, and then once I give up everything I’ve ever known turn your back on me”.
I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, and someone keeps asking me; “Why are you crying?”
They say moving and losing a loved one are the most stressful things in life.
Well we’ve gone through both in a very short period of time. To say I’m stressed to the max would be an understatement.
I haven’t been able to write a word till today.
I know if she was still here she would be telling me to get on with it. “Live your life Little girl, do it for me”.
It’s not that easy to resume your life when someone so special and close in your life dies.
The only reason I’m writing this now is because my hubby shamed me into it. “What would your mom think Annie?” Well I’m pretty sure she would understand that I’m hurting. She would also tell me that life doesn’t stand still while you’re grieving.
My Mom was a very smart woman.
She is missed every minute of every day.
I know this post may not be much to most of you. But it’s a huge step forward for me.
I want to thank you all for sticking by me while I get my life in order. I really do miss interacting with all of you.
That’s it for now. Make sure you let your parents and loved one’s know how much you love them.
We are only put on this earth for a very short time. It’s so important to let those we love know how we feel. I’m so glad there were no words left unspoken.
Life really sucks sometimes. And sometimes we have no choice but to move forward. Even if it’s one day or minute at a time..
Hugs to all of you!!!