Life isn’t always easy..

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Annie, Blogs, Books, choice, Dreams, family, Florida, fun, laughter, life, love, loved ones, Moving, relationship, writing

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on this page or my Sexwannie blog. But life isn’t always easy.

There are important things that get in the way of writing a blog. Life gets in the way. And so does death.

My husband and I have been though so much in a very short period of time.

On May 5th 2015 we lost my father in law to heart disease. Then a week later on May 12th my Mom lost her battle with Cancer.

That’s when I lost my way. My Mom was my heart, and my biggest fan.

I still cannot believe she’s gone.

I go to call her and then reality kicks in. She’s not here.

I look for signs that she told me she would send. I see them, I know she’s watching over me.

I just want her here.

It was Mom who pushed me to write and publish my first novel.

Know  I don’t know how I’m supposed to finish my second without her here.

When I started my blogs it was my Mama who would say “You’re on your way little girl.”

Its had not having her here pushing me to write. She had been telling me my entire life I needed to keep writing. .

So now it’s been about six weeks since she’s gone and I’m so lost without her.

We have moved out of Jersey. Packed up everything we thought we might use. And staying with someone who I thought was family.

If we could move again we would be out of here tonight.

“Don’t tell my Mom on her death bed that you will take care of me, and then once I give up everything I’ve ever known turn your back on me”.

I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, and someone keeps asking me; “Why are you crying?”

They say moving and losing a loved one are the most stressful things in life.

Well we’ve gone through both in a very short period of time. To say I’m stressed to the max would be an understatement.

I haven’t been able to write a word till today.

I know if she was still here she would be telling me to get on with it. “Live your life Little girl, do it for me”.

It’s not that easy to resume your life when someone so special and close in your life dies.

The only reason I’m writing this now is because my hubby shamed me into it. “What would your mom think Annie?” Well I’m pretty sure she would understand that I’m hurting. She would also tell me that life doesn’t stand still while you’re grieving.

My Mom was a very smart woman.

She is missed every minute of every day.

I know this post may not be much to most of you. But it’s a huge step forward for me.

I want to thank you all for sticking by me while I get my life in order. I really do miss interacting with all of you.

That’s it for now. Make sure you let your parents and loved one’s know how much you love them.

We are only put on this earth for a very short time. It’s so important to let those we love know how we feel. I’m so glad there were no words left unspoken.

Life really sucks sometimes. And sometimes we have no choice but to move forward. Even if it’s one day or minute at a time..

Hugs to all of you!!!

 

 

Blogging, making connections, sharing buttons, gaining followers, D.G. Kaye

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blogging, Blogs, comments, community, connecting, discovery, Dislikes, followers, Guest blogger, Likes, re-blogs, readers, social sharing, thoughts, topics

Blogging, making connections, sharing buttons, gaining followers, D.G. Kaye.

I couldn’t help but re-blog this post by D.G. Kaye. I hope you all like it as much as I did..

Use It or Lose It

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adult, Annie, back surgery, Blogs, Daily post, happiness, health, husband, kink, laughter, life, lose, love, marriage, relationship, remembering, Sex, wife, words, writing prompts

DAILY PROMPT

Write about anything you’d like, but make sure the post includes this sentence:

“I thought we’d never come back from that one.” 

Whenever I hear the phrase use it or lose it I think of sex.

I can’t help it, that’s just how my brain works. Think about it this way; the more we have sex the more we think about sex and the more we think about sex the more want sex.

If we slack off or lose that loving feeling. We must think, use it or lose it.

So I started to think; how long was the longest dry spell between sexual encounters? As far as I can remember it had to be when I had my first back surgery. That was in nineteen eighty-nine.

I was in such a bad way. That surgery almost killed me. I remember screaming as a spasm grabbed hold of me.  I wasn’t able to walk on my own for six months. Now you would think I wasn’t thinking about sex. But I was thinking about sex. I mean we had only been married for three years.

I was thinking this is the longest we’ve ever gone without it.

Will my husband wait for me?

Will he leave me?

Does he love me enough to wait?

Will I ever want sex again?

Will my body keep failing me or will I walk again?

Why did this happen to me?

And am I ever going to get back to some kind of normal?

Yes I was feeling all sorts of sorry for myself at that time. And I was a mess if you really want to know the truth. I also had to take steroids.  I had what they call moon face. It’s not a very attractive look, especially for a twenty-nine year old woman. Moon face at any age can put you over the edge, but in your twenties it’s that much worse.

Being on steroids I also gained about thirty pounds.  And being only four-foot ten inches tall I wasn’t feeling my sexy side if you know what I mean. Hell I couldn’t even find my sexy side.

So here I was not able to walk on my own, in excruciating pain, with a body and face as big as the moon. I remember feeling like a huge beach ball with a face.

It was hard to look in the mirror each day, and when I did I cried. So I was thinking: how could my husband look at me and still want sex?

And even though sex at that time was physically impossible. I couldn’t put my mind around him still wanting me in that way.  But he did. And somehow he would make me forget what I looked like. This amazing man would tell me I was beautiful and that he loved me each and every day. He also reassured me that he wasn’t going anywhere.

It was this man who got me through one of the hardest times in my life.

All I had to do was hear his voice and I would feel a calm come over me.  Yes, It was his voice that would get me through some of my toughest days.

Fast forward through a year of the hardest physical and then aquatic therapy and I was finally able to get half of my strength back. I got rid of the walker and steroids. My face went back to normal. Sure I still had about twenty pounds to lose but I was starting to feel like myself.

Through all this I realized that we did have that unconditional love thing going for us. So I promised to never doubt his love again.

I know that I am one of the luckiest women in the world. I may have to live with chronic back pain for the rest of my life but I had made it back from a failed open lumbar back Laminectomy. Yes I was left with chronic pain for the rest of my life.

And I found out was that I have a husband who will always be there for me no matter what.  And I realized if he could stand by my side through a year of hell without physical sex 😉 than I knew without a doubt that we could make it back from anything.

Yes there were times when  “I thought we’d  never come back from that one.”  But we did.

Oh and the sex? Well our sex life just keeps getting better. It turns out that we never lost that connection. And that’s why I always say: “Where there’s a will there’s definitely a way.” With sex it doesn’t have to be physical. sex is a state of mind. And you either use it or lose it!

 

Life, Pain and Changes..

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double fusion, husband, life, love, Sex, spine, spouse, surgery, t-lift

hingWith surgery done I had no idea a birthday milkshake could bring me down.

SEX w/ Annie

Up-Date!

So when there are two kinds of pains, and one is going to hurt you and the other is going to change you which hurt do you choose?

Well I didn’t have a choice. When I went for this spine surgery all I know is that I woke up in miserable pain. I felt like I’d been kicked in the back fifty times with hard boots, and then kicked some more for good measure in the stomach too.

Then the fun started. The nausea kicks in and you just keep thinking what on earth have I done to deserve this? When it finally stops you feel a huge weight lift off of you.

But then two days later your BFF hands you a birthday milkshake. Yes It was for my actual birthday, March fifteenth to be exact. And It was an actual vanilla milkshake with sprinkles. So I drank…

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Do You Have Your Copy of Madame Gretchen? – A Sexual Being : A Sexual Being

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adult, author, Books, EroticRomance, Guest author, indie, kinky, sexy, writer, writing

Do You Have Your Copy of Madame Gretchen? – A Sexual Being : A Sexual Being.

Check out Kayla Lords newest book..

Optimizing your website, google analytics, Standout Books, tools for writers, D.G. Kaye

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Authors, Blog stats, Blogs, Books, Stats, words, writing

Optimizing your website, google analytics, Standout Books, tools for writers, D.G. Kaye.

Meet and Greet Sexy Blog Thread

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Authors, BDSM, Bloggers, D/s, dreamers, erotica, kink, life, lovers, Meet & Greet, Networking, photographers, poets, Sex, Thread, writers

If you have a sexy blog that has anything to do with kink, BDSM, D/s, submission, Dominance, relationships, eroticism, fantasies, Kinky romance, Photography and of course Sex then keep reading.
Yes, I’m encouraging you to post your blogs URL with a SHORT description in the comments section so that others will see it.
This will be a Self Promotion page for the sexy, erotic, and kinky people of the blogging world.

SEX w/ Annie

I have had a few bloggers who just are just starting their sexy blogs on WordPress,  and another on a totally separate blog who have asked me the question: “How do people find me?”

So I thought I would try to help and do as the HaRshReaLity blog does.  And that’s open up my own blog page to other Sexy bloggers of the kinky persuasion as a kind of meet and greet for sexy blogs.

HaRshREaliTy has been doing this for any kind of blogs for a year now, and it’s working. So it’s a good idea to check out his blog too.

If you have a sexy blog that has anything to do with kink, BDSM, D/s, submission, Dominance, relationships, eroticism, fantasies, Kinky romance, Photography and of course Sex then keep reading.

Yes, I’m encouraging you to post your blogs URL with a SHORT description in the comments section so…

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Leader of the Pack – (Business Philosophy) Keep Moving Foward – Happy Martin Luther King Day!!!

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Dreams, Forward, leaders, MLK, Philosophy, rights, speaker, The right thing

What ever you do You have to keep moving forward.
-Martin Luther King-

Harsh Truths About Writing from Some Writing Legends

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Authors, Blogs, Books, Critics, Guest author, harsh, Indies, The greats, words, work, writer, writers, writing

While sifting through the WordPress reader I came across this wonderful post. I just had to re-blog it. If nothing else it will make you smile. Thank you Margaret Jean Langstaff for posting.

Margaret Langstaff

Writers, if you are struggling, you are not alone. It’s the typical state of mind for a serious writer! I stumbled on this and thought it worth sharing here. No endorsements intended or implied. Just food for thought and a few reasons to smile.

21 HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT WRITING
From Thought Catalog

1. The first draft of everything is shit. -Ernest Hemingway

2. Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass. -David Ogilvy

3. If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy. – Dorothy Parker

4. Notice how many of the Olympic athletes effusively thanked their mothers for their success? “She drove me to my practice at…

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Save HarsH ReaLiTy!!

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adult, blog, Blogs, fun, laughter, life, Live and let blog, post, smile, Suspension?, words, writing

If WordPress can suspend HarsH ReaLiTy’s ability to follow and “like” other blogs than they can suspend anyone of us. So Like, Share, or re-blog, But don’t just sit there and do nothing.

No one likes spam. In internet terms (as opposed to the stuff you find on the grocery store shelf) it’s the bane of our existence. Its sole purpose is to get our attention and once it does, it either begs us to buy something or gives us something we would never pay for – something like a virus.

Then there is the exception to the rule. In fact, there is only one exception that I’ve found in over a decade of browsing the web. It may have seemed like a “spam follow” at the start, but when I followed the cookie-crumb trail that led me back to its source, it ended up benefiting me beyond my wildest dreams: it was HarsH ReaLiTy.

Jason, also known as Opinionated Man, has a huge (over 50,000 blog, twitter, and Facebook combined) following on his blog, HarsH ReaLiTy. His passion for connecting with other…

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