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Annie, Blogs, Books, choice, Dreams, family, Florida, fun, laughter, life, love, loved ones, Moving, relationship, writing
I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything on this page or my Sexwannie blog. But life isn’t always easy.
There are important things that get in the way of writing a blog. Life gets in the way. And so does death.
My husband and I have been though so much in a very short period of time.
On May 5th 2015 we lost my father in law to heart disease. Then a week later on May 12th my Mom lost her battle with Cancer.
That’s when I lost my way. My Mom was my heart, and my biggest fan.
I still cannot believe she’s gone.
I go to call her and then reality kicks in. She’s not here.
I look for signs that she told me she would send. I see them, I know she’s watching over me.
I just want her here.
It was Mom who pushed me to write and publish my first novel.
Know I don’t know how I’m supposed to finish my second without her here.
When I started my blogs it was my Mama who would say “You’re on your way little girl.”
Its had not having her here pushing me to write. She had been telling me my entire life I needed to keep writing. .
So now it’s been about six weeks since she’s gone and I’m so lost without her.
We have moved out of Jersey. Packed up everything we thought we might use. And staying with someone who I thought was family.
If we could move again we would be out of here tonight.
“Don’t tell my Mom on her death bed that you will take care of me, and then once I give up everything I’ve ever known turn your back on me”.
I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, and someone keeps asking me; “Why are you crying?”
They say moving and losing a loved one are the most stressful things in life.
Well we’ve gone through both in a very short period of time. To say I’m stressed to the max would be an understatement.
I haven’t been able to write a word till today.
I know if she was still here she would be telling me to get on with it. “Live your life Little girl, do it for me”.
It’s not that easy to resume your life when someone so special and close in your life dies.
The only reason I’m writing this now is because my hubby shamed me into it. “What would your mom think Annie?” Well I’m pretty sure she would understand that I’m hurting. She would also tell me that life doesn’t stand still while you’re grieving.
My Mom was a very smart woman.
She is missed every minute of every day.
I know this post may not be much to most of you. But it’s a huge step forward for me.
I want to thank you all for sticking by me while I get my life in order. I really do miss interacting with all of you.
That’s it for now. Make sure you let your parents and loved one’s know how much you love them.
We are only put on this earth for a very short time. It’s so important to let those we love know how we feel. I’m so glad there were no words left unspoken.
Life really sucks sometimes. And sometimes we have no choice but to move forward. Even if it’s one day or minute at a time..
Hugs to all of you!!!
I know how you feel. It takes time to get over the loss of a loved one. It took me 6 months to laugh after my dad past away. His death shook me to my core. Like your mom he died from cancer. Cancer sucks
You just have to deal with it in your own way.. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve..
I’ve thought of you often . Hugs to you my friend.
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Cancer really does suck my friend. I swear I will not give one penny to Cancer research ever again. At least not until there is a cure. And with what I have seen I doubt there will ever be a cure. Cancer is big business. It just makes me sick to think of so many who are either fighting or have lost their lives to this horrible disease. Thank you for taking the time to check in on me. Hugs!!!
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Welcome back my friend. You certainly have had a year! God has tested you well. No doubts you’re entitled to a time out. Just know you have friends here who care and will be here when you’re ready to return. We have the gift of writing which somehow enables us to get our feelings out with our words, which is quite therapeutic, as we both know. I’m wishing you peace and courage (of which I know you have plenty) to deal with your pain and put the love in a special place in your heart for those you’ve loved and lost. One day you can go to that place in remembrance with a smile in your heart; one day when time sheds its layers on your pain. You’re the rock girl! Never crumble! Hugs to you Annie girl! xo ❤
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Yes its been a hard year for both of us D.G..
I’m doing my best. I know the writing will come, but for now I need to keep moving. I promise I won’t crumble. I just need a little more time. Lets just say that tissues and where they are is what’s important these days. If I stand still my Mom’s face pops into my head. I just miss her so very much. I think not being able to call her has been the hardest part. I spoke to my Mom almost every day for 52 years.
There are a few things to settle in my life before I can get back to writing. I am at least starting to think about it, and that’s a good thing. I’ve never felt this way before Deb. It’s not easy. I’m crying just writing this. I knew it was coming and still Mom’s death has thrown me for a loop. Love you for thinking of me.. Hugs!!
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I hear you Annie. Maybe you have to stop moving; stand still and face your grief, let it out, and let it find its way into that special place in your heart where it can rest. And write, write what you feel. Don’t look back or analyze, just write your pain, and one day you can go back and look at what you wrote. Maybe there will be something there to build from?
My summer hasn’t been fun either. Won’t get into it now but when I resurface, I’ll blog about it. Chin up us girlies! We aren’t die-hards for nothing!!!!! xoxo ❤
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Been thinking of you sweetheart and hope that all is settling down for you. You are loved and missed. Be well.
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Thanks Annie B.. You are loved too!! ❤ hugs!!
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Smiles big and heart warms.
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Annie, I know it’s been over a year since your sweet mom past away. I’m so sorry. I’m just seeing this as I’m starting to read my favorite blogs again.
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Thank you Lori, Means a lot that this is one of your favorite blogs, I need to write. I feel the need to explain where I’ve been and what I’ve gone through. This year will be the year for me and my very supportive and oh so loving husband. We have So many plans. Lifeis just starting to come together for us. It feels good to breathe once again. (D:
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Thank you all for thinking about me. For taking the time to post. And for not giving up on me. Life has just turned a corner for us. We are living and I’ve started to breathe once again. This is going to be an amazing year. ☺️
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