The perception of Annie

~ The other side of me..

The perception of Annie

Monthly Archives: March 2015

Use It or Lose It

17 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by SexwAnnie in acceptance, Daily post, Life, Love, Post a day, Sex, writing, writing prompts

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

adult, Annie, back surgery, Blogs, Daily post, happiness, health, husband, kink, laughter, life, lose, love, marriage, relationship, remembering, Sex, wife, words, writing prompts

DAILY PROMPT

Use It or Lose It

Write about anything you’d like, but make sure the post includes this sentence:

“I thought we’d never come back from that one.” 

Whenever I hear the phrase use it or lose it I think of sex.

I can’t help it, that’s just how my brain works. Think about it this way; the more we have sex the more we think about sex and the more we think about sex the more want sex.

If we slack off or lose that loving feeling. We must think, use it or lose it.

So I started to think; how long was the longest dry spell between sexual encounters? As far as I can remember it had to be when I had my first back surgery. That was in nineteen eighty-nine.

I was in such a bad way. That surgery almost killed me. I remember screaming as a spasm grabbed hold of me.  I wasn’t able to walk on my own for six months. Now you would think I wasn’t thinking about sex. But I was thinking about sex. I mean we had only been married for three years.

I was thinking this is the longest we’ve ever gone without it.

Will my husband wait for me?

Will he leave me?

Does he love me enough to wait?

Will I ever want sex again?

Will my body keep failing me or will I walk again?

Why did this happen to me?

And am I ever going to get back to some kind of normal?

Yes I was feeling all sorts of sorry for myself at that time. And I was a mess if you really want to know the truth. I also had to take steroids.  I had what they call moon face. It’s not a very attractive look, especially for a twenty-nine year old woman. Moon face at any age can put you over the edge, but in your twenties it’s that much worse.

Being on steroids I also gained about thirty pounds.  And being only four-foot ten inches tall I wasn’t feeling my sexy side if you know what I mean. Hell I couldn’t even find my sexy side.

So here I was not able to walk on my own, in excruciating pain, with a body and face as big as the moon. I remember feeling like a huge beach ball with a face.

It was hard to look in the mirror each day, and when I did I cried. So I was thinking: how could my husband look at me and still want sex?

And even though sex at that time was physically impossible. I couldn’t put my mind around him still wanting me in that way.  But he did. And somehow he would make me forget what I looked like. This amazing man would tell me I was beautiful and that he loved me each and every day. He also reassured me that he wasn’t going anywhere.

It was this man who got me through one of the hardest times in my life.

All I had to do was hear his voice and I would feel a calm come over me.  Yes, It was his voice that would get me through some of my toughest days.

Fast forward through a year of the hardest physical and then aquatic therapy and I was finally able to get half of my strength back. I got rid of the walker and steroids. My face went back to normal. Sure I still had about twenty pounds to lose but I was starting to feel like myself.

Through all this I realized that we did have that unconditional love thing going for us. So I promised to never doubt his love again.

I know that I am one of the luckiest women in the world. I may have to live with chronic back pain for the rest of my life but I had made it back from a failed open lumbar back Laminectomy. Yes I was left with chronic pain for the rest of my life.

And I found out was that I have a husband who will always be there for me no matter what.  And I realized if he could stand by my side through a year of hell without physical sex 😉 than I knew without a doubt that we could make it back from anything.

Yes there were times when  “I thought we’d  never come back from that one.”  But we did.

Oh and the sex? Well our sex life just keeps getting better. It turns out that we never lost that connection. And that’s why I always say: “Where there’s a will there’s definitely a way.” With sex it doesn’t have to be physical. sex is a state of mind. And you either use it or lose it!

 

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Life, Pain and Changes..

17 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by SexwAnnie in Adult, Chronic pain, Health, Life, Love, Post a day, Sex, spine, surgery, writing

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Tags

double fusion, husband, life, love, Sex, spine, spouse, surgery, t-lift

hingWith surgery done I had no idea a birthday milkshake could bring me down.

SEX w/ Annie

Up-Date!

So when there are two kinds of pains, and one is going to hurt you and the other is going to change you which hurt do you choose?

Well I didn’t have a choice. When I went for this spine surgery all I know is that I woke up in miserable pain. I felt like I’d been kicked in the back fifty times with hard boots, and then kicked some more for good measure in the stomach too.

Then the fun started. The nausea kicks in and you just keep thinking what on earth have I done to deserve this? When it finally stops you feel a huge weight lift off of you.

But then two days later your BFF hands you a birthday milkshake. Yes It was for my actual birthday, March fifteenth to be exact. And It was an actual vanilla milkshake with sprinkles. So I drank…

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12 Things My Grandmother Told Me Before She Died

08 Sunday Mar 2015

Posted by SexwAnnie in Post a day

≈ 1 Comment

We could all learn a thing or two from this grandmother. And our own..

“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”  – Prince William

This weeks post was written by Marc

  1. Breathe in the future, breathe out the past.  No matter where you are or what you’re going through, always believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Never expect, assume, or demand.  Just do your best, control the elements you can control, and then let it be.  Because once you have done what you can, if it is meant to be, it will happen, or it will show you the next step that needs to be taken.
  2. Life CAN be simple again.  Just choose to focus on one thing at a time.  You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it all right now.  Breathe, be present, and do your best with what’s in front of you. …

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Wish Me Luck..

06 Friday Mar 2015

Posted by SexwAnnie in Post a day

≈ 2 Comments

A friend of mine told me to keep thinking, Only healing hands will touch me. So that’s just what I’m doing..

SEX w/ Annie

0ff539598161ae4fec3f2d719df2ee8e

Sorry! No Sex here. Life just keeps getting in the way.

I’ve been a nervous wreck for the last month. And this week it’s gotten worse.  You see I’ve or we’ve thought about it and decided that it’s now or never.

I’m having a minimally invasive spinal fusion on March 12th. At an out-patient surgery center in Altamonte Springs, Florida. We met with the Doctor here in Jersey in January. And I really think he can help me. No bad vibes, he’s confident and cocky at the same time. And he’s even given us his personal cell phone number for questions. Yes we called him to see if he had given us the real number.

You all know that we are trying to get things in order so we can leave NJ and move to Florida. We had plans to leave this month, but with my Mom so sick with…

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Ten Good Reasons For Using A Pen name

03 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by SexwAnnie in Post a day

≈ 6 Comments

Do you have a pen name or do you use your real name?

mybookspage

Ten Good Reasons For Using A Pen Name

1) Your real name is Max Steel – but you write romances.
2) Your real name is Beatrice P. Feathersoft – but you write extreme slasher fiction.
3) Your real name is a swearword in seventy languages.
4) You don’t want your mum finding out you write erotica.
5) You don’t want your spouse finding out you write about them behind their back – under the category “psychological horror”.
6) You don’t want everyone in the pub knowing you like writing science fiction and fantasy because they’ll called you “Sheldon” and mock you forever.
7) You don’t want everyone reading your new horror story believing you are a psycho.
8) You want to win a prestigious literary prize for your serious literary novel – but you also like writing about fairies and witches.
9) You write about fairies and witches – but…

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